Before I start, please let me make it clear that I am not a money grabbing ‘ho’e. I AM A STRONG, INDEPENDENT, WOMAN. However, I’ve taken a lot of time to think about this, weighed up the pro’s and con’s, and I think that me becoming a WAG really would be for the best.
Here are my 10 reasons why.
1. First and foremost, I think it would significantly reduce the likelihood of me being a grumpy bitch.
2. Can we just discuss how ideal the position of WAG would be for someone moderately OCD, such as myself. I can categorically state that I would make a fantastic housewife – If I’m bored I’ll manically clean, and (given the money) I go through baking obsessions. A bathroom so clean its a slip hazard and the smell of freshly baked bread – what more could a man want?
OK. I can’t confirm that the bread will be baked by me. I mean, I’ll try, but failing that I’ll definitely pick some up from the local boulangerie. Or Tesco’s.
3. It would boost my career (not the WAG one, the acting one)- look at Posh, Abbey Clancey, and Colleen Rooney – and I can actually act.
4. I actually like Football.
5. I don’t need the offside rule explained to me using various condiments. I’ve already learnt a really good shoe buying analogy from Kiss DJ, Charlie Hedges.
6. I’m really good at dressing myself, and I’d be even better at it if I had an unlimited clothing budget.
7. Similarly, I’m a moderately good driver. My driving skills would definitely be improved if I was behind the wheel of a Merc.
8. I embarrass myself enough to cover up any embarrassing footballer’s cheating situations.
9. Who doesn’t want a hot bodied boyf? (Ok, Ok, I know some people don’t, but I certainly wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth).
10. Finally, and this is something that I’m sure my friends and family would resonate, I think it would significantly reduce the likelihood of me being a grumpy bitch.
Act Fashionably 